


simon snow's guide to the perfect pride

by pipsqueakparker (lafbaeyette)



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Angst, Gay Pride, Happy pride month, Identity Issues, Light Angst, M/M, Micah is Bi Now Thanks, New York City, Post-Canon, Pride, Summer Vacation, This is a Pride Fic, Vacation, Vampires, canon adjacent?, that's still true baz is still a vampire
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-09
Updated: 2019-06-22
Packaged: 2020-04-23 05:30:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19144525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lafbaeyette/pseuds/pipsqueakparker
Summary: Pride parades and festivals weren’t really a thing Simon had ever known much about, much less attended. Mostly due to the whole growing up in foster care, as well as the being pretty sure he was straight for most of his life, and that was all before the Chosen One situation that had occupied his time basically since becoming a cognizant human being. To put it shortly, Simon Snow didn’t know much about Pride month, or the parades, or the festivals. Baz hardly more familiar, his family didn’t really discuss his sexuality, much less offer to drive him out to a huge parade in celebration of it. He knew of it, at least, and was fairly good at keeping up with the news and everything that was happening in the community. He'd still never been to Pride before.AKASimon & Baz Attend their First Pride!





	1. everybody hates traveling & self-identifying

**Author's Note:**

> yes i did set this in new york bc that's where i live - but it's really not gonna be that location-specific there's just one scene in the next chapter that i saw and couldn't get out of my head and the whole thing had to be in new york for that scene to happen (but like american road trip is literally about to be canon so fight me) (except don't just let me have this one please) 
> 
> anyway, it's pride month so i obviously needed to write something about these boys being gay and in love and At Pride! (and in the spirit of the gay season, micah's bi now you're welcome) 
> 
> and then it spiraled into a longer fic so i think this'll end up being about three chapters or so. but i'll be posting them throughout june, and hopefully finish by Actual New York Pride. 
> 
> pls enjoy my rendition of Dumb Boys In Love

Pride parades and festivals weren’t really a thing Simon had ever known much about, much less attended. Mostly due to the whole growing up in foster care, as well as the being pretty sure he was straight for most of his life, and that was all before the Chosen One situation that had occupied his time basically since becoming a cognizant human being. To put it shortly, Simon Snow didn’t know much about Pride month, or the parades, or the festivals. Baz hardly more familiar, his family didn’t really discuss his sexuality, much less offer to drive him out to a huge parade in celebration of it. He knew of it, at least, and was fairly good at keeping up with the news and everything that was happening in the community. He'd still never been to Pride before. 

That all changed the year that Penny convinced the two boys to join her and Micah on a trip to America. They were mainly going to visit Micah’s family (Penny and Micah were, that is. Simon and Baz would be tagging along solely for the Pride portion then returning home), but Penny figured if they left a few days earlier rather than just boarding a connecting flight in New York, they could spend a couple days there. And those days would line up perfectly with New York Pride. Penny had also never attended Pride, but Micah had gone to smaller ones around his hometown before.

“Why would we go all the way to America for that? We have one here,” Baz pointed out, absentmindedly pulling at stray threads on one of Simon’s old jumpers. The one Simon was currently wearing. If Simon were more like Baz, he probably would have been annoyed.

“I won’t be here for London’s.” The trip was still a week or so away, but Penny was already working on folding up clothes into a suitcase. “The tickets are bought, it’s too late to back out.”

“Why’re we even going?” Simon asked quietly, seemingly to the floorboards. Penny looked up from the sundress she had been folding, eyes narrowing behind her glasses.

“To a Pride parade? Not that hard to puzzle that out, is it, Si?”

“I mean, you and Micah aren’t - and I’m -” Simon stopped himself, still not looking up and not offering to continue. Penny’s look of confusion melted into one of concern and Baz stopped picking at the frayed threads, instead laying a hand over Simon’s.

“I’m not going to tell you what you are, Snow,” Baz started, giving Simon’s hand a small squeeze. “But what we’ve been doing the past year’s not exactly _straight_.”

Simon huffed and rolled his eyes, pulling his hand out of Baz’s hold. Not so aggressively that Penny noticed, but enough for a knot to form in Baz’s chest. “Of course, I understand that...”

“And Micah is bisexual.” Penny added.

“He is?” Simon and Baz spoke at the same time, looking at each other in surprise.

“The three of you spent twenty minutes fawning over Keanu Reeves the other night, how are you surprised?"

“Keanu is fit _and_ a talented actor, it doesn’t take the right half of the Kinsey scale to notice that,” Baz defended. “I just thought Micah had eyes.”

“Either way. It’ll be fun, yeah?” Penny pushed aside a pile of clothes and crawled from her suitcase in the middle of the floor to the sofa where Simon and Baz were sitting. “It’ll be a short trip for you two, but you’ll get out of the house - out of the _country_. We’ll have a good time.”

“Yeah,” Simon finally agreed, though he wasn’t fooling either of them. They dropped the conversation, Penny returned to folding and packing while Simon turned on some mindless reality show.

Baz didn’t try to hold his hand again, or really even move any closer. He wasn’t sure what had happened earlier, but whatever it was he didn’t want to make it worse, as much as it pained him to see that Simon wasn’t making any moves to be closer either. It was the stiffest silence they had ever sat in.

It wasn’t brought up again.

The remainder of the week was back to normal, almost. Simon was still stingy with his touches, and stingier still with his kisses. Baz didn't need hands to count the number of times he'd coaxed more than a peck on the cheek or lips out of Simon in the week before the trip. (It was 0.) He tried to convince himself it was Simon's nerves, but he was never that persuasive to his own heart.

Micah had spent the past few weeks in London with Penny, hence the whole trip involving him. Baz also tried not to seethe in his jealousy when they would all be together and Micah couldn't keep his hands off of Penny. Penny had the decency to try to be subtle, but Micah acted exactly how you'd expect a boy taken with a girl and finally seeing her after months apart would act. Baz had to use almost every ounce of his self-control to not roll his eyes, and the rest of it went to not reaching out to do the same to Simon. He respected whatever Simon was going through and didn't push himself onto him, no matter how much he wanted to sometimes. 

The conversation from that night had blown over, at least, until Penny cornered Simon the morning they left. Baz was in the shower and Micah had run out for breakfast, leaving Penny and Simon alone.

“Simon, can I ask you a question?”

“I guess, yeah,” Simon looked at Penny cautiously as he filled a kettle, deciding that he'd at least make tea for everyone. 

Penny wasn’t one to beat around the bush, and preemptively asking ‘can I ask you a question’ was the biggest sign that Penny was trying to beat around the bush. That worried Simon. 

“Do you really not think of yourself… as gay?”

“Guess not.” Simon was also not typically one to answer in short sentences, which made Penny almost feel bad. For a moment. But ultimately this was an important conversation to have.

“You’re snogging Basil.”

“I snogged Agatha, too.”

Penny reached for a cupboard, pulling down four mugs. “Okay, then, bisexual - ”

“I don’t know,” Simon sighed, shrugging his shoulders so hard Penny was afraid he may somehow knock them out of socket. “Why are you interrogating me about this?”

“It’s not an interrogation, Simon. I’m curious, I’m your friend but I don’t even know how you identify.”

Simondidn’t say anything for a long moment, rummaging through another cupboard in search of their collection of tea. It was quite expansive, especially since Baz started adding to it. Initially they just had some basics, chamomile and ginseng, peppermint because it was Simon’s favorite (especially to mix into hot cocoa in the winter) and these fruity teas that Penny really loved. Once Baz’s taste buds came into the picture (rather, when he got tired of Penny and Simon’s tastes and bought his own to keep in the kitchen) they suddenly had phoenix oolong, darjeeling quince, and sencha. (And of course, it was all loose leaf.)

Finally, Simon spoke, with a classic Simon Snow shrug, “Maybe I don’t.”

“Don’t?”

“Maybe I don’t… identify.” Simon sighed again, finally locating the ultra fancy tea box (also introduced to the kitchen by Baz) that somehow always got shoved to the back of the cupboard. “I don’t like thinking about that kind of stuff. It’s too confusing. You and Baz can have your labels and identities, but keep them. I don’t get it.”

“What’s so confusing about it?” Penny took a few steps closer to Simon, pretending that it was just to reach out and grab a tea bag from the box. Her true intentions came to light when Simon dropped his head onto his arms, crossed over the counter, and she placed a hand on his shoulder. “We don’t have to talk about it, Si, if you truly don’t wish to. I’ll drop it. But if you ever nee-“

Penny’s very meaningful words were cut off as Simon sprung back up, pushing himself away from the counter and throwing his arms out to his sides. “I mean, why does it matter? Can’t I just snog who I want without having to put a name to it?”

“Of course you can, Simon-” Penny tried to interject, but Simon had only just begun.

“A-and at this point I’ve only been with two people. Two. Ever, in my life - so how am I supposed to know? Not only are they the only ones I’ve been with, they’re the only people I’ve ever really... thought of... in that way. It’s not like I go around and I want to shag every good-looking lad I see, or every beautiful girl. I mean, do people really think like that, anyway? How does anyone know?”

“Simon.” This suddenly felt like it ran a little deeper than Simon just not wanting to conform to labels, and his voice was quickly growing in pitch as he continued.

“Then you have the two people I _have_ fancied, and they’re actual polar opposites - so what does that even say? The only common thread between Agatha and Baz is… is… Crowley, nothing. Me, I suppose.”

“Simon.”

“And in the end, Agatha and I just didn’t work, and was that because of us as people, or because I was secretly gay this whole time? Or - or what if I’m _not_?” Simon finally stopped, looking to Penny with wide doe eyes full of some blend of pain and confusion.

“Simon.” Penny started once more, placing both hands on his shoulders. “You’re right, it doesn’t matter. What’s important is your relationship with Basil. And you love him, yeah?”

Simon’s face softened, his shoulders no longer felt tense beneath Penny’s hands. “Yeah.”

“That’s not confusing, is it?”

“No, of course not. That one I know.”

“That’s what matters.”

Simon’s face fell into a small smile and he let Penny pull him into an awkward hug.

“My ears are burning, what despicable things have you all been saying?” Baz’s voice floated in from the hall as he made his way to the kitchen. “Oi, Bunce! I’m off for ten minutes and you’re already all over my boyfriend?”

Penny laughed, loudly in Simon’s ear, as she took a step back from him with her hands up in innocence. “Trust me, Basil, he’s all yours.”

Baz, freshly washed and smelling strongly of his fancy, woodsy toiletries, stepped in behind Simon and wrapped an arm around his waist, cautiously. Not touching Simon was beginning to kill him, so he tip-toed toward it. Simon leaned into him, thankfully, and he hooked his chin over the boy's shoulder. “I should hope so.” 

“You two disgust me.” Penny’s lip curled up, but they could both tell she was fighting off a smile as she looked away, down to her phone. “Micah’s on his way back, make sure you’ve got your things together, we’ve about an hour before we leave.”

The rest of the morning was a flurry of activity. Having breakfast, collecting all their bags into a car and driving to the airport, and of course airports are always a mad dash of tickets and passports and finding proper gates. By the time they’re boarding, Simon’s realized just how exhausted he is. It’s still early in the day, but he hadn’t slept well the previous night and the stress of the morning wasn’t kind on him. His seat was next to Baz, thankfully. Penny and Micah were in the row behind them, already engrossed in a discussion over some news podcast Penny had started listening to.

Baz had a book out before Simon fully settled in (airplane seat belts were a nuisance he was not acquainted with), which brought a pout to Simon’s lips. He aimed that pout straight at Baz, who remained focused on his book for nearly a full minute before glancing up at Simon.

“What’s your face for?”

“Certainly not for ignoring in favor of some stuffy old book.”

Baz rolled his eyes. Simon had complained about all of the attention the whole ‘Chosen One’ title had bestowed upon him, but don’t be fooled. It wasn’t that Simon didn’t like attention, because Simon Snow was an attention whore, just only from specific people. Baz was top of that list, which meant he was faced with pouts and whines and nudges anytime Simon wasn’t feeling looked at enough.

“This is a classic, I’ll have you know.” Baz returned his gaze to the pages.

“Classic is simply code for ‘stuffy and old’,” Simon muttered.

Baz didn’t give in. Not for lack of wanting to, more for the sake of others. He loved being the top of Simon’s attention list, and he loved giving Simon every last drop of his affections. He would never admit to it, but looking at and touching Simon Snow was Baz’s favorite pastime. (He didn’t have to admit it, it was fairly obvious.) But now they were on an international flight, for the next several hours, surrounded by people that did not subscribe to witnessing Baz and Simon pawing at each other until they landed in America.

After a few long minutes, through which Baz knew Simon was still pouting at him, the other boy finally gave up with a soft sigh. Rather than try to pull Baz’s attention away from his reading by sheer force of will, Simon leaned in and laid his head on Baz’s shoulder. Baz felt like he would explode from the relief. This was a complete 180 from the rest of the week, and while he still had his anxieties he let himself thrive in these moments.

Once the they were airborne Simon dug a pair of headphones from his pocket, flicking through his library before finally settling for the ‘shuffle’ button and returning his head to his boyfriend’s shoulder. At some point he felt Baz press a kiss to the top of his head before leaning his cheek against it, and at some point he melted into the comfort of that moment and fell asleep.

Simon slept on and off for most of the flight, he was laying on Baz the entire time.

Nearly eight and a half hours later, the group had finally made it to New York and found their hotel. They were only staying for a few days, and Penny had made all of the arrangements, it wasn’t the most posh hotel they could have found but it was nice. The couples had adjoining rooms, meaning they were able to open a door and share their spaces as they all unpacked, settled in, and had some carry out for dinner, but once the jet lag hit them all they had their separate rooms to retire to.

They had been eating together in Penny and Micah’s room, so once they finished cleaning up Baz and Simon made their way back into their own room, shutting and locking the adjoining door behind them. Simon immediately flopped onto their bed, spreading his arms and legs out like a starfish.

“I love hotel beds, they’re always more comfortable than your own could ever be,” Simon sighed dramatically. Baz couldn’t help but smile, still rolling his eyes at the boy but fondly this time. He nudged Simon’s arm out of the way so that he could sit against the headboard, a box of carry out balanced in his lap. He hadn’t eaten with everyone else. Penny made sure to shove it into his hands before they left.

Simon watched as Baz picked at the food for a few minutes, before finally speaking up. “You know, you can eat in front of him.”

“I prefer not to."

“He puzzled it out ages ago. He knows and he doesn’t mind.”

“S’not for his sake.” Baz’s replies were short and slightly lisped. He was still in the habit of covering his mouth as he ate, but if Simon looked closely enough he could see the way Baz’s fangs pressed against his lips. “You can stop staring anytime you’d like, Snow.”

“I like looking at you,” Simon defended. He sat up, crossing his legs and facing Baz fully.

“I’m eating.” Baz moved his hand to gesture at the box in his lap, giving Simon a better view of his mouth (and of his fangs).

“I also like looking at you while you eat.”

Baz stopped chewing, stared at Simon for a very long moment with a blank expression.

“You concern me, love.” Baz said. Simon was more focused on the glint of his fangs as he spoke than the words coming from his mouth.

Sometimes Simon wondered what it’d be like to kiss Baz while his fangs were out, then he’d quickly toss the thought away because Baz would never let that happen. Sometimes it would happen when they’re getting a little too heated, and Baz loses a little too much control, and he’ll stop everything immediately until he’s got at least his fangs back under control. And sometimes Simon wished he wouldn’t.

“Take a picture, Snow, it’ll last longer.” Baz grumbled, ignoring the discomfort of being watched and tucking back into his dinner. He had declined anything on the flight, so by the time they reached the hotel he was absolutely ravishing. He had almost considered eating in front of Micah, but ultimately decided against it. The sound of a camera shutter brought Baz's attention back to Simon, who was now holding his phone up toward Baz. "What the bloody hell are you doing?" 

"You told me to take a picture." Simon shrugged, a grin spread over his lips. Baz's mouth fell open slightly, he didn't have an argument, somehow, he was semi-shell-shocked that Simon had taken his words literally. Of course they weren't meant literally, _bloody Simon Snow_. Baz knew he'd be the death of him. 

Suddenly, a thought struck Simon. “What’re you going to do about blood while we’re here?”

Baz paused, fork midway to his mouth, and looked at Simon. “Same as always.”

“What’d’ya mean?”

“Rats live in Manhattan as well, Snow. Matter of fact, I hear they’re even bigger here.”

“Oh.”

“Why all the sudden interest in my diet and eating habits?” Baz finally took one more huge bite of food, then closed his container and sat it aside.

“I dunno,” Simon shrugged. “Just - guess it hadn’t occurred to me until just now.”

“Well, thank Crowley you weren’t the one arranging this trip.”

Simon frowned.

Baz raised his brow, which earned him yet another full-bottom-lip-out-pout. Simon and his pouting on this trip, and it had only just started. It was a welcome difference from the past few days, at least. 

Now Simon was itching for the attention again, and Baz was just as willing to give it to him as he was to give him his space. After letting the other boy pout for a bit longer, he stretched out his legs and opened his arms in invitation. Simon took it immediately, crawling across the mattress and into Baz’s arms, resting his head against the other’s chest.

“I could plan holiday if I wanted, you know,” Simon muttered into Baz’s shirt.

For his part, Baz only snickered a little before responding. “I know you could, love.”

It didn’t take long for the stress of traveling melted from the comfort of being near each other and they fell asleep before they had even changed into proper night clothes.


	2. holidays without drama are fake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> New York Day One: Drama, Whales, and Drinks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yo, y'all, i just. happy pride month my dudes. 
> 
> it's a good day to be gay. 
> 
> pls accept my gift of baz being a drama queen, simon being Confused^tm, and Micah being... well, not someone we have canonical comparison with yet so pls don't hurt him or me (or our feelings)

Baz was the first one awake the next morning. 

Well, the first one in his and Simon’s room. Penny was clearly the first one awake, as she had already started beating on the door between their rooms. It wasn’t long before Simon began to stir as well, brows furrowed and hair sleep-mussed as he groaned and set his glare directly at the door. Baz must have managed to actually lull himself back into a semi-sleep, because it wasn’t until then that he realized Penny was also yelling now. 

“ _Boys_ , it’s nearly noon - we didn’t fly across the ocean to sleep the day away!” Her voice was muffled through the door, but her impatience was clear. Simon groaned louder. 

“We get it, Bunce, we’re awake,” Baz shouted back, praising every deity he could think of when she finally stopped hitting the door. Simon slowly slid out of bed and made his way to the bathroom, unlocking the adjoining door on his way. Penny must have been waiting for that because she burst through as soon as she could. She could have used magic sooner, but they’d all been trying to cut back on it the past year, for Simon’s sake. They hadn’t stopped completely, they were still magicians after all, but the whole situation with the Mage and Simon losing his magic and... well, Penny and Baz had both agreed that the least they could do was ease up on the constant magic usage while Simon was healing. 

“Have you two really just woken up?” 

Simon shrugged, too tired to even process the question let alone give an answer. Baz, on the other hand, checked his phone and immediately glared daggers across the room at the girl. 

“‘Nearly noon’ my arse, it’s barely ten in the morning.” He tossed his phone aside and burrowed back into the duvet. 

“That’s closer to noon than 8:30, which is when Micah and I got up.” Penny marched up to the foot of the bed and tugged at the blanket. “You should be thanking me, Basil, you’ve just enough time to take advantage of the free breakfast downstairs.” 

“Free breakfast?” Simon’s words were garbled around the toothbrush hanging from his mouth as he popped his head back into the room. “Where?” 

Baz wrinkled his nose. “Snow, don’t talk with things in your mouth.” 

Simon removed the toothbrush to mumble out a soft ‘sorry’ before ducking back into the bathroom to finish up. 

Baz turned back to Penny. “And you’ve just reminded me how much I pity Micah’s having to live with you the past month.” 

“Don’t bother.” A wicked grin crossed Penny’s lips. “I’ve a good system in place to make up for any flaws.” 

Baz didn’t let his act of nonchalance fall, “Oh, we’re all aware, Bunce. You and Snow share a wall. You should look into barrier spells, silences, _something_. I’m sure even Snow would agree.” 

Penny’s grin fell and a gentle scarlet rose beneath her tanned cheeks. Baz in turn smirked and laid back down, satisfied, pulling the duvet over his head. 

By the time Simon returned to the room, all signs of his previous tiredness wiped from his being, Penny had successfully yanked all of the blankets from the bed where Baz now lay curled up with his pillow over his head. 

“Your boyfriend refuses to get out of bed, Simon,” Penny complained.

At that Baz did uncover his face, just to continue glaring at her. 

“He’s always been a pain to get up of the morning.” Rather than assisting with the task of getting Baz up, much to Penny’s displeasure, Simon began pulling clothes out for the day. 

“Is that a vampire thing, or are you just an arse?” 

Baz’s head snapped up at that, his eyes darting to the open door as he hissed, “ _Bunce!_ ” 

Penny looked confused for a moment, glancing back at the door, then quickly piecing it together. She rolled her eyes a bit, shaking her head, “Basil, it’s fine, Micah knows.” 

It was Baz’s turn to roll his eyes. “I get it, Micah’s a bloody genius, such a clever bloke, he’s figured me all out - that doesn’t mean you’re obligated to announce it every five _fucking_ minutes.” 

Even Simon had stopped what he was doing, standing there half out of his shirt from the night before, to turn and look at Baz now. Penny was frowning, not in an apologetic way, more in a confused, ‘I Don’t Get Why You’re Upset’ way which just made Baz more upset. 

“Look,” he tried to begin again, “I can deal with your forced nonchalance about everything in attempt to make it seem normal, and I’ve put up with the jokes and the prodding since far before either of you really knew. It was bad enough having Snow trying to tell everyone what I was when he _didn’t_ know, but it’s fucking infuriating to have you both just telling anyone now that you _do_."

“Basil,” Penny cut in. “It’s not as if we’ve announced it on national news. It’s just Micah.” 

“ _Just_ _Micah_ ,” Baz mocked. “Has it ever occurred to either of you that it’s not your bloody information to share?” 

Simon and Penny exchanged a look, an ‘I Think We’ve Seriously Fucked Up’ look, but otherwise remained silent. Baz raged on. 

“If I weren’t already out, would you go around telling anyone - even _just_ _Micah_ \- that I’m gay?” 

“But… we’re dating, like, publicly?” Simon furrowed his brows, classically not catching on.

Baz pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger, growling. “That’s not the bloody point, Snow. If we _weren’t_.” Baz shook his head. “Knowing the two of you probably still would - but the point is a decent person _wouldn’t_. You don’t out people, especially friends, just because someone may have already ‘figured it out’. It’s not as if I had an option in telling either of you, that doesn’t mean you’re required to tell everyone else just because they may ‘already know’’.” 

He flew out of bed, storming right past a shell-shocked Penny and Simon, and shutting the bathroom door too hard behind him. 

Baz was very good at being dramatic. He was very good at storming out of places, throwing spectacularly over the top fits (not that he had done that since he was a child, but when he did it was a sight to behold), and he was especially talented with the Silent Treatment. About an hour later he emerged from the bathroom post-shower acting like nothing had happened, aside from the fact that he refused to say more than one or two words to Penny _or_ Simon. (He already didn’t speak to Micah much, so truly he was just silent for the majority of the day.) A part of him knew that Simon didn’t quite deserve the extent of punishment he was getting, but another part of him continued doing so as a way of punishing himself for overreacting the way that he had. Baz is very good at being dramatic, and he is very aware of when he’s doing so, but sometimes he begins a tirade that he can’t stop. 

Amid a mixture of jet lag, stress from the insecurities in his relationship with Simon, an ever-growing irritation with the way Penny and Simon had both been treating his vampirism in front of Micah the past few weeks, and probably waiting a little too long since he last fed, Penny’s comment was really the straw that broke the camel’s back. He knew that neither of them had meant any harm by it, just as he knew that had he wanted it to stop he could have said something. 

But that’s not how Baz Grimm-Pitch rolls, he’s more of a suffer in silence type, someone who buries everything down deeply, and bottles it up until the pressure is too much and it all just explodes. 

Always has been. 

Maybe he should’ve taken Simon’s suggestions about seeing a therapist. Although, what would he even say? ‘It all started when my mother was murdered in front of me and I was bitten by a vampire’? Besides, he didn’t need a professional to tell him that he’s a self-sabotaging git, he’s been well aware of that. 

That’s precisely why he always ended up in these situations. He was meant to be having a fun holiday, spending time in a new city with his boyfriend and friends. Instead of letting himself enjoy anything, though, he was walking five paces behind the rest of the group, arms crossed, and a scowl firmly set on his face. And every minute that passed without Simon even attempting to get him to talk was a new point to the half of his mind constantly telling him that he didn’t deserve Simon. Or rather, that Simon deserved better than him. Simon Snow, the ray of sun that he is, deserved someone that could give him the same kind of sunshine back, someone that could love him in all of the ways that he needed instead of getting caught up in their own dramatic episodes, someone _alive_ , someone that wasn’t a bloody vampire. 

Simon, for his part, was trying to give Baz space. Even after living together for eight years, and dating for a year and a half, he never knew what to do in moments like these. He had expected Baz to ignore Penny for the day, they both saw that coming, but he hadn’t anticipated also being on the receiving end of Baz’s cold shoulder. He had tried on many occasions to understand Baz’s mindset in times like this, but Baz was not very open, no matter how hard Simon tried to pry into his feelings. Baz was an expert deflector. 

The last thing Simon wanted to do was make it worse, though, so he decided that space was probably the safest bet at the moment. At least for now, he’d give Baz a while to seethe and wallow, and later he’d try once more to prod at him and break him out of his silence. 

There weren’t actually any Pride events that day, so day one in New York was mostly full of the classic tourist-y things, at least for the first part of the day. They went to Times Square, realized that it wasn’t worth the unbearable crowds, then moved on to the next thing. 

It wasn’t until they stopped for lunch that anyone actually tried speaking to Baz, and it wasn’t Penny or Simon. Those two had run far ahead, noses buried in their phones as they tried to find the restaurant they wanted.

“You good, dude?” Micah fell into step next to Baz, looking over at him as if his concern were real. (It was.) (Baz tried to convince himself it wasn’t.) 

He didn’t say anything, barely even looked up from the sidewalk, but Micah seemed to take that as an invitation to keep talking. 

“Look, I overheard what happened this morning,” he started, finally earning a solid glare from Baz. “Let me finish, I _agree_ with you. Pen’s got no right to be telling anyone your business, not even me. And, just for the record, she’s not _really_ told me. I mean, she could probably learn to be a bit more subtle but… Look, my point is, you were right.” 

Baz’s glare softened a bit, morphed into his signature scowl. 

“I never would have said anything,” Micah continued. “I didn’t actually figure it out, or anything - it kind of just always hung around as an assumption, especially after... well... and they both just kind of dropped it, which was kind of a sign in itself. But that doesn’t matter - I’ve never brought it up or anything, and I never would have, not until you felt comfortable enough to tell me. Which… I know sounds like a lie seeing as I’m bringing it up right now, but…” 

“I never thought I’d meet someone who rambled more than Simon Snow.” That was Baz’s first multi-word sentence since that morning. Micah snorted. 

“And I never thought I’d meet someone as stubborn, if not more than, as Penelope Bunce.” He retorted. “Seriously, nearly three hours of silence? That’s impressive.” 

Baz dropped his gaze back to the sidewalk. “Years of practice.” 

“She cares about you,” Micah added after a long stretch of silence, after Penny and Simon had gotten even further ahead of them. “Its not something she’ll admit to easily, but she does. And no, not just because you’re Simon’s boyfriend, but because you’re her friend.” 

“I’d hardly say friend.” 

“She would. She does consider you a friend, whether you do or not.” 

Baz crossed his arms, reverting to his silence. 

“I’m just saying she’d never do anything to intentionally hurt you. So, if this whole ‘silent treatment’ thing is what you’ve gotta do for your own sake, alright, but just... Pen cares about you, and so do I, and Simon’s completely taken so... let us in when you can, alright?”

Baz didn’t know what to say, if he should say anything, and Micah didn’t seem to mind that. He walked next to the other man in silence, having said his piece and letting Baz take his time.

Simon deserved someone more like Micah. Not a petulant child in an adult’s body like Baz. 

The mostly one-sided talk with Micah helped, to some degree. 

They slipped into a little diner for lunch, and while Baz still remained mostly silent throughout the meal he did scoot closer to Simon than necessary in their booth. He even pushed past his hang-ups about eating in front of Micah. Mostly he just wasn’t sure if he’d get a chance to eat in any kind of privacy anytime soon, and doing so now with a semi-sense of privacy in their little booth felt preferable to any other option he could think of.

Micah didn’t pay a lick of attention, too involved in whatever he and Penny were looking at on her phone. They were both leaning over the screen, resting between their plates on the table, picking at their food and swapping occasional comments. Simon, in general Simon fashion, was scarfing down his own food as quickly as he could, until he felt Baz shift even closer until their knees bumped under the table. 

He dropped one of his hands to rest on Baz’s thigh out of habit, not even realizing he’d done it until Baz hissed, “Crowley, Snow, my jeans aren’t your bloody napkin.” 

Simon jerked his hand back, turning to Baz with wide eyes, “Oh, uh, sorry - I - ”

Baz didn’t look upset, though. He wasn’t smiling, but his eyes were soft despite the scowl he was giving Simon as he shoved a napkin toward him. Simon took it and wiped at his hands and mouth before trying again, placing his hand gently on Baz’s knee.“Are we speaking again?” 

“Not if you get your disgusting American burger grease all over my trousers.” Baz laid his hand over Simon’s, squeezing his fingers gently in the closest thing to an apology that he was going to give at the moment. 

After lunch Penny led the group to their next attraction. Baz was finally finished with the sulking portion of his day, though he was still being mostly quiet he walked in step by Simon and actually tried to take in the city as they walked rather than stare at the ground. Manhattan, like any big city, was noisy and crowded and kind of made Baz wish that he were anywhere else. But it was also kind of amazing, especially as they walked up 5th Avenue with Central Park on one side and beautiful buildings and architecture on the other. It was late June so it was warm, not too warm just yet, and the birds were singing and they could hear kids laughing and playing. Many buildings had also donned some form of rainbow flag or decal in honor of Pride month, which was nice to see. It was even better because every time they passed something rainbow Simon would nudge Baz’s arm to make sure he saw it. 

As they neared their destination the crowd got thicker, Simon took Baz’s hand so they wouldn’t get separated as they tried to keep up with Penny and Micah. Holding Simon’s hand in public wasn’t a new thing, but it wasn’t a very common thing. Not that Baz didn’t want to, but he was very limited with his PDA, and he was never quite sure if it was genuinely his preference or more for everyone else’s comfort. Maybe it didn’t matter. No one else around was shy about being with their significant other, even out here in the middle of the street. They had definitely passed at least one couple snogging each other’s faces off as they approached the impressive staircase Penny had been leading them to. 

Simon shielded his eyes from the sun as he looked up at the building atop the stairs, then at the statue sitting in the middle of them. “Are you really dragging us to a museum on holiday?” 

Yes, Penny was dragging them to a museum on holiday. They climbed the steps, the other three ignoring Simon’s whinging as they made there way in and through the ticket line. Penny and Micah broke off almost immediately, Micah pulling them off toward the planetarium.Simon and Baz decided to do more wandering, not even bothering to open the museum map they had been given, just following the path of halls and exhibits set out before them. Every so often one of them would stop to look at something, more often Simon would lean into Baz to murmur some random observation or ridiculous joke he’d just thought of, and the whole thing was pulling Baz back into that familiar comfort he always found when he was with Simon. 

Simon could tell. Not only did Baz drop the scowl entirely, he even snorted at a couple of the jokes. He looked less tense than he had the rest of the day, no longer crossing his arms or consistently furrowing his brow, he just seemed to be enjoying the museum. That made one of them. Not that Simon wasn’t having a good time, just being with Baz was enough for him, especially now that he was coming back into himself. But Simon wasn’t a history person, or a museum person in general. This museum was better than art museums, which Baz had always thoroughly enjoyed but they made as much sense to Simon as Gaelic. It was just informational, and some parts were interesting, but for the most part Simon was kind of bored. 

Until they reached the second floor. 

The sign ahead caught Simon’s eye and he actually felt drawn to an exhibit. Baz was about to start in the opposite direction when Simon took his hand again, pulling him gently back toward an archway with a sign above, ‘Milstein Hall of Ocean Life’. 

He wasn’t so interested in ocean life, per se, but he thought it would be interesting to check out. Turns out the Hall of Ocean Life was even better than he could have imagined. Just past the archway they were greeted with a large octopus hanging from the ceiling, and a little further in were some replica jellyfish, sea turtles, and so many other ocean-dwelling creatures. 

Through another entryway they found _her_. 

The whale. 

“Crowley,” Baz muttered, taking in the life-size blue whale literally hanging from the ceiling. 

“Brilliant.” The room was divided in two levels and Simon pulled Baz further in with him, down the steps and to the bottom floor until they were standing directly beneath the whale. Baz was still taking in the rest of the hall, there were small exhibits all along the edges including some beautifully crafted scenes of dolphins, sharks, walruses, and other various sea life. When he finally turned back to Simon he found the boy lying on his back on the floor, or rather on a large mat covering the floor beneath the whale. 

“What are you doing?” Baz asked, then realized everyone else was as well. For the most part. Some people were merely sitting around in groups, others laying, either way this seemed to be what the area was meant for so when Simon, rather than answer, sat up and tugged at Baz’s hand he let himself be pulled down to the mat. 

“I think this is my favorite bit,” Simon said, interlacing his fingers with Baz’s and leaning against his shoulder. 

“You would like the room where you’re encouraged to lie beneath a giant safety hazard hanging from the ceiling.” 

“S’not a safety hazard, why would they allow that?” 

“We don’t know how structurally sound that whale is.” 

Simon shrugged. He didn’t care, because there was something oddly relaxing about being there. There were ocean sounds playing throughout the room, just above the soft hum of other conversations around them and the video playing on a large screen across the room from them. The room itself wasn’t too full, there were groups of people scattered around, either looking at the other exhibits, watching the aforementioned video, or gathered on the mat. Even Baz seemed to relax further, though Simon wasn’t sure he even realized it. 

“I’m sorry about this morning.” Simon’s voice was soft, and he felt Baz tense up for a moment before relaxing again with a long sigh. 

“Wasn’t your fault, you’ve nothing to apologize for.” 

“I mean, it is partially at least, innit? Maybe not this time, but... I wasn’t much better about it.” 

Baz squeezed Simon’s hand, dropping his eyes to the floor. “Sorry for the silent treatment.” 

“ _You’ve_ nothing to -“ Simon started, but Baz cut him off. 

“I have everything to apologize for.” Micah’s words from earlier were still ringing clearly through his mind, ‘ _let us in when you can_ ’. He wasn’t sure if now was a moment where he could, but it was at least worth the try. “I may have overreacted a bit this morning. I think I’m just stressed over this whole trip and...” 

Simon kept looking at him, waiting for the rest of the sentence, but he never finished. 

“And?” He prompted. 

Baz kept his eyes down, he didn’t know how to continue that sentence without sounding completely desperate. ‘And you denied being queer and then barely touched me for a week, what does that mean?’ ‘And I’m completely, overwhelmingly taken with you but I’ve never believed you could possibly feel the same way, and now the proof is building’?

“And I just don’t know where your head’s at.” Well, that was... something. Simon furrowed his brow. 

“What do you mean?” 

Baz sighed heavily, running his free hand through his hair. He wore it down, loose around his face today. He’d rather pull out every last strand than actually continue this conversation, but there were Micah’s words again. 

_‘Let us in when you can’._

“You’ve been sending some mixed messages, haven’t you?” Baz grabbed a handful of hair at the back of his head and held tighter to Simon’s hand with his other. “First telling Bunce you weren’t even gay - bi - queer, _whatever_ \- and then up until yesterday you’d barely even look at me.” 

“That’s not - “ 

“When’s the last time you kissed me?” 

Simon’s mouth fell open, as if to answer, but he shut it again and dropped his eyes. Baz finally looked up at him, he almost looked ashamed. 

“I’ve just been - It’s not that - I - “ Simon pulled his hand back from Baz’s and scrubbed it over his face. Baz tried not to feel hurt. 

“Use your words, Simon.” 

“I’m _trying_ to use my bloody words,” Simon snapped, and Baz tried not to feel hurt again. It was getting harder. Simon finally dropped his hands from his face and looked up at Baz. “I just don’t _know_.”

“Don’t know? Don’t know _what_ , Simon?” _If you still want me? If you’ve ever wanted me? If this is the right thing, or if we should just end it now?_ Baz’s head was spinning with so many questions, all of the worst case scenarios that could come out of Simon’s mouth, and he tried not to look dizzy with it. Simon wouldn’t have even noticed if he failed, he was too caught up in examining the underbelly of the whale, face turned up and shoulders tense and looking perfectly poised to drive a proverbial stake through Baz’s heart. 

“What I am?” Simon shrugged. “It’s a lot to think about. You know I don’t like thinking. I just never have. Thought about it, that is.” 

Baz let go of a breath he knew he’d been holding. “Your sexuality?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Is it…” Baz trailed off, once again not being able to bring himself to sound as desperate as he was. “Why not?” 

Simon shrugged again and it was beginning to frustrate Baz just as much as it had when they were in school. “Haven’t needed to, have I?” 

“What does that mean?” Baz’s voice was thin, like he was getting too torn by this conversation. Every part of him was wearing thin, if Simon was going to say he didn’t actually want him anymore he needed to just get on with it. His tone finally caught Simon’s attention from the whale, though, and Simon studied him for a long moment before answering. 

“I’ve been with you.” His hand found Baz’s again and Baz would be an absolute liar if he said it didn’t give him a rush of relief. “S’not like I’ve been actively seeking someone to shag, have I? Don’t have to think about who you’d rather be with when you’ve already found that person, do you?” 

“That hardly makes sense.” 

“Baz,” Simon leaned into him. “I’ve only fancied one girl, and one bloke. I don’t know what that means, or what that makes me. Maybe I am bisexual, or maybe the first one was a fluke and I’m gay as you. I don’t know, but as far as I’m concerned you’re..  _it_ for me.” 

That made Baz’s heart jump into his throat. Bystanders be damned, he ducked his head and kissed Simon right there. Simon cupped his boyfriend’s face with both hands, realizing it really had been far too long since they’d kissed. He knew he’d been vaguely distant (he hadn’t realized just how distant until now), trying to work things over in his own mind after nearly telling Penny that he wasn’t gay when, well, all signs led to the contrary. He truly hadn’t thought of it in a long time until that moment. When he and Baz had first started this, snogging - _dating_ \- he had thought about it a lot, but other things kept coming in at a higher priority. Eventually it slipped his mind, he didn’t feel the need to reconsider his own identity because it was obvious to him that he wanted Baz, he loved Baz, and the thought died until it nearly left his mouth again. 

Baz pulled back first, only by a centimeter to whisper, “Even if you hadn’t dated Agatha, you’ll never be gay as me, Snow.” 

Simon laughed and kissed him again. 

They eventually met back up with Penny and Micah, once the four of them had their fill of the museum. (Or rather, of snogging in the museum.) They spent a few of the late afternoon hours in Central Park, now that Baz was mostly over the tantrum of the morning he was more pleasant for everyone to be around - at least he felt that way, that he hadn’t been pleasant at all that day. Micah and Simon raced to climb trees while Penny and Baz timed them and cheered them on. The four of them spent a solid thirty minutes watching some ducks and discussing their duck-lives, but the best part was just laying in the grass, or atop some rocks, enjoying the sun and the way the park could lull you into a false sense of nature and security. 

Then came the night. Penny had planned the day, but Micah planned the night. He wasn’t that familiar with New York night life, but he had known some people that were, especially the Queer New York night scene. 

The bar was unlike any Baz had been to before, granted he hadn’t been to that many. Loud and crowded, of course, but not in an intimidating or irritating way. People weren’t drunkenly battering everyone else around them, of course some of the dancing was sloppy and loose, but the atmosphere was light and not the overwhelming discomfort he remembered from the places he’d been with Dev and Niall.

They definitely weren’t of legal drinking age in this country, but no one behind the bar seemed to care as long as they kept paying. And after several rounds of shots on Micah, and a couple drinks shared with Baz, Simon was definitely feeling _something_. He didn’t drink that often, even at home he’d only have a few beers and maybe a shot. He wasn’t exactly a lightweight, but his tolerance wasn’t as high as everyone else’s seemed to be. 

He had been sharing drinks with Baz, but Baz didn’t seem to be nearly as affected by them. Simon wondered if it was a vampire thing, or if Baz was just better at holding his liquor. He turned with the intention to ask but the thought slipped away the moment he looked at Baz, saw the way the lights were hitting his face. It was pretty dark but there were some colorful strobe lights that would sweep by every so often and catch along Baz’s jaw. Baz’s jaw was a very good feature, maybe one of Simon’s favorites, and he loved leaning in close and running his lips over it, pressing hot kisses into his skin, scraping his teeth across it. 

Baz’s hands found his hips, pulling him away just a little. “Oi, Snow, thought the biting was my thing.” Baz didn’t looked annoyed or put off, simply amused. Simon grinned at him. 

“You’re just so beautiful I couldn’t help myself.” His words weren’t slurring yet, but they were falling more loosely from his lips. He wasn’t completely sloshed, but he was comfortably tipsy. Baz chuckled. 

“Sounds like someone needs to take a break from the bar.” Baz kissed Simon’s forehead as the other pouted at him. “I need to run to the loo, I’ll be right back.” 

Baz was out of Simon’s arms before he even realized, leaving the boy pouting alone in the middle of the bar. 

“You and Baz made up, then?” 

Simon spun around to face Micah, nearly losing his balance. Micah grabbed his elbow to steady him. “You good, man?” 

“Brilliant.” Simon grinned. 

“How are you two?” Micah tipped his head in the direction Baz had disappeared.

“Oh, we’re... we’re good, yeah? Brilliant, us, as well. Should we not be?” Simon furrowed his brows. 

“No! No, I just - noticed he was in a sort of funk today. Just checking in.” 

“Baz is always in a ‘funk’. That’s who he is. He’s... funky.” 

Micah laughed. “Well, I’m glad you two seem to be having a good time, despite him being funky.” 

“I’m not sure he is,” Simon admitted, frowning. He hadn’t expected to say that, but once it was out he realized he believed it. “I think I - I don’t think he is.” 

“What do you mean?”

“You’re bisexual, yeah?”

Micah was caught off-guard by the sudden subject change and the serious shift in Simon’s voice. He took Simon by the arm, guiding him toward the edge of the crowd where they could hear each other better and weren’t at the risk of being bumped into every five seconds. 

“Yeah, I am.” 

“How do you know?” Simon’s frown deepened. “I mean, like - you’re dating Penny, so how - how do you know that you’d - I don’t know how to... Have you been with a boy?” 

Micah shrugged. “Yeah. I mean, not like I’m with Penny. I’ve kissed guys, but that’s about it. Pen’s... kind of my first real relationship.” 

“So how do you know?” 

“What do you mean? I just... I adore Penny, of course, but I’ve also adored some guys. I enjoyed being with them, too.” 

“In the same way you.. enjoy being with Penny?” 

Micah shook his head. “No, no one compares to her. But that doesn’t negate how I felt with them. I wasn’t in love with them the way I am with her, but I mean, there was something there. And I can’t ignore that. Even if I’m in a relationship with a woman now, that’s all still true.” 

“You’re in love with Penny?” Simon’s eyes grew wide as he looked up at Micah, who was laughing again. 

“Is it that surprising?”

“I guess not, I just... I never heard either of you say it.” Simon’s surprise calmed down into a smile. “That’s nice. Love is nice, I’m glad for you two.” 

“You love Basil?” Simon nodded. “But you also loved your ex-girlfriend.” Another nod.

“But it’s different with Baz.“ Simon couldn’t help the dopey quality of his smile. “It’s so much better.”

“That doesn’t have to cancel out how you felt with her.” Micah gave a little shrug. “It doesn’t mean you’re not into girls, just because you’re with a guy now, it just means that you’ve found the one - at least for right now - and he happens to be a guy.” 

Simon’s frown returned and he leaned against the wall. “I don’t even remember - Since I started at Watford he was the center of my attention. I dated Agatha, but... that just made sense at the time. I loved her, but not the way I was supposed to, I think - but I had bigger things on my plate, didn’t I? The whole... fate of the Mages, and trying not to be killed by Baz. Jesus, even the end of _that_ relationship was somehow about him.” 

Micah just let Simon talk. He had heard all of this secondhand from Penny, he was well brushed up on the story of Baz and Simon pre-romantic relationship. 

“I just mean... once I realized I didn’t hate him, it all made sense... I’ve been obsessed with him for the majority of my life, I barely looked at anyone like that before we sorted out our feelings or whatever - I’ve certainly not thought of anyone since. So.. what does that mean?” 

“Well, if nothing else, it means you’re definitely _not_ straight. Spending nearly a decade obsessing over another guy is pretty queer.” Micah gave him an over-exaggerated shrug. “But it’s okay to not know, Si. I haven’t always known. If Denial and Confusion had a proverbial baby, it was me. And that’s chill. Don’t stress yourself out.” 

“The whole... Pride thing - It just feels... am I even allowed to go if I don’t know? I’ve got nothing to celebrate, or be ‘proud’ of...” Simon dropped his eyes to the floor. The sensible part of his brain was yelling at him to shut up, but the alcohol thrumming through his system was too encouraging. 

“Simon,” Micah nudged Simon’s shoulder until the other looked back at him. “The Q in LGBTQ also stands for ‘Questioning’. Because it’s okay to not know, the whole idea of pride isn’t about just being proud that you’re gay or what have you. It’s about being proud of who you are, no matter what that looks like. You can take pride in your confusion. And you and Baz, you two have been together for well over a year now. Considering you spent the first seven years of your relationship hating each other, I think that’s definitely something to celebrate.” 

Simon pursed his lips, considering arguing back for a moment, but instead he let Micah’s words sink in, through the warm haze of drinks, and let them ease the anxiety in his chest. Maybe Micah was right. He probably was, Micah was smart. That’s why Penny fell in love with him, Simon was well aware of just how brilliant Micah was, because it takes a lot to impress Penny. Simon could count on one hand the number of people he’d seen Penny be impressed by, because it was two. Micah and Baz. (She may not admit to the latter sometimes, but Baz impressed both of them when they first truced in eighth year. He continued to impress Simon daily.) 

Simon was pulled from his thoughts by an arm slipping around his waist, he almost panicked until he caught the familiar scent of Baz’s... Was it cologne? Simon wasn’t sure Baz used any, but he just always smelled _so_ good. Whatever product it was, it was almost as impressive as Baz, because it never seemed to fade. Maybe it was just him. The familiar scent of _Baz_. 

“Is there a reason you’re standing alone in a corner, love?” Baz’s mouth was next to Simon’s ear and he couldn’t hide the chill that ran through him. 

“I’m talking to - ” That was the moment Simon realized Micah had already wandered back into the crowd. “Erm, I was talking to Micah.” Simon turned in Baz’s arms, warming from the inside out when the arm around his middle pulled him closer, their faces so close Simon could hardly look at Baz without going cross-eyed. It’s not like he needed to, he’d memorized every plane of Baz’s face ages ago. 

“Talking about what?” 

Simon grinned, still feeling a buzz and additionally drunk on his proximity to his boyfriend. He was suddenly overwhelmingly excited to tell Baz exactly what they had been saying, what he’d learned and realized. Rather than any full, intelligent sentences about the intricacies of sexuality and the spectrum on which it lives, Simon just exclaimed, “I’m questioning!” 

Baz quirked a brow. “You’re question _able_ , for sure.” 

Simon laughed, even though that was definitely a subtle jab, nothing mattered. “No - I - I don’t know what I am but that’s okay, because I’m very, very sure I’m in love with you and that’s what matters, and I’m proud of that and you and us and - ”

Simon’s words died along with a piece of his soul as Baz nearly busted their mouths with how hard and quick he kissed him. (It was a death from sheer ecstasy.) For the second time that day, Baz was overwhelmed by an amount of joy and love that he never thought he’d have. Hearing Simon proclaim his love like that, ‘I’m in love with you’, was almost too much for Baz to handle. He had to kiss Simon, had to find some form of release for all of these emotions he’d never met, before he fucking exploded. 

Simon’s arms snaked around Baz’s neck as he stretched to the balls of his feet, leaning into Baz who fell back into the wall but didn’t let up for a second. This definitely went against their usual no-PDA rules. Maybe the rules didn’t apply on holiday, or maybe Baz didn’t care anymore, either way Simon wasn’t going to complain. 

When Baz did pull away he let his head fall back against the wall, looking at Simon through heavy-lidded eyes, lips parted, and Crowley, that was a good look on him. Simon growled and ducked his head, returning to his earlier ministrations, lips, tongue, and teeth roaming over Baz’s neck. A spark shot through him when a broken whine left Baz’s lips, he tucked that sound into his memory. He loved finding new ways to take Baz apart and for some reason his neck wasn’t an area Simon had explored yet and what a pity that was. He needed to make up for all that lost time. 

“Fuck,” Baz breathed, pushing Simon away gently. “Not that I’m not thoroughly enjoying this, but perhaps we should.. head back to the hotel?” 

Simon nodded enthusiastically, already tugging at Baz’s hand to pull him through the crowd and toward the door. Baz would laugh at the desperation in both of their movements, but he had other things to worry about. Like not ravishing Simon between the bar and the hotel, or getting lost in this enormous city. 

He paused outside of the bar just long enough to send Penny a text. (He was a pain, but he wasn’t a complete arsehole.)

 

**_To: Bunce_ **

_Simon and I are heading back. See you in the morning._

 

His phone vibrated in his hand as they climbed into a car, neither of them in any temperament to even pretend they could find their way on transit. 

 

**_From: Bunce_ **

_Gross._

**_From: Bunce_ **

_Have a good night._

**_From: Bunce_ **

_And use protection!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> t hank you so much for reading! as always, i'd love to hear your thoughts and feels, etc, in the comments and i thrive off kudos. 
> 
> you can also hit me up on tumblr @pipsqueakparker where i honestly may only be talking about dan coming out for the next few days with some carry on thrown in (pls come give me more to talk about re: carry on honestly) 
> 
> part 3 will h o p e f u l l y be up by the 30th!


	3. finally, that gay shit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> New York Day Two: PRIDE!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is it! the gay shit you've been waiting for! 
> 
> happy pride! nyc pride isn't for another week, and i considered holding off and posting this then but. 
> 
> nah. i can't do that to y'all, have some love. have some pride. have some crop tops. 
> 
> and enjoy!

The night was quiet, soft moonlight stretching across the bed through the window. If Penny and Micah had made their return they did so quietly, for Simon and Baz were none the wiser. Rather, Simon secretly hoped, the walls here were a bit thicker than they were in his flat back home. Really he hoped that for the sake of anyone in surrounding rooms, because it had been roughly a week and a half since the last time he and Baz did _anything_ and, well. 

Simon pressed a trail of soft, lazy kisses across Baz’s chest, at least the expanse of it he could reach without really moving his head. He felt both exhausted and exhilarated at the same time, his body was heavy and floating, and he wasn’t sure if it was remnants from his drinks earlier or just being with Baz. He didn’t care, decided not to think too hard about it, and instead melt into Baz’s body as the other tightened the arm around his shoulders. 

“You get very needy after a shag,” Baz observed, a smile threatening the corners of his mouth. 

“S’not needy,” Simon argued as he conflicted his own words by pressing further into Baz, nuzzling his jaw and wrapping an arm around his middle. “Just wanna be close to you.” 

“You’re aware that’s the definition of ‘needy’?” The smile broke across his face and a laugh bubbled from his throat. Simon shrugged, smiling into his skin at the sound of that laugh. He liked it when Baz laughed, it was a sound he hadn’t known for so many years and now he treasured each and every time he heard it. 

“You’re one to talk,” was the only retaliation Simon could muster. 

Baz tilted his head down and kissed Simon’s temple. “It’s okay, I quite enjoy it.” 

Simon shifted, attempting to press every inch of his skin to Baz’s, ultimately reaching the point where he was just lying on top of him. He buried his face into Baz’s neck and hooked his arms under his shoulders. Simon wasn’t very well-versed on the level of human needs Baz still had, after all he claims to not even be alive (that was bollocks, and Simon knew it) but if breathing was one of them he almost felt bad. Having an adult man lying across your chest can’t make that task much easier, but Baz didn’t complain. No, on the contrary, he held Simon to him with a vice-like grip, one arm firmly across his back and the other carding through his curls. 

If Baz died being crushed beneath Simon Snow’s body, he’d die happy. 

At some point in the night they’d drifted off, Simon rolling back onto his side of the bed without waking up. The movement did wake Baz, and he missed his warmth for a moment before something stronger washed over him. It had been too long since he fed, he fell asleep without having the chance last night. He couldn’t do the same thing tonight. 

He slipped out of bed and dressed, careful not to wake Simon. This was a very big concern for him when Penny first suggested this whole trip, it wasn’t like he could stock actual _blood_ in his checked bag. Penny argued that he could, but Baz had seen how luggage was tossed around and, Crowley help him if his bag was chosen to be rifled through, he was absolutely not going to take that chance. Penny had also offered to keep it in her luggage, “I’ve one of those hard shell suitcases, and it’s not like we’re obligated to label it ‘Blood’. It’ll be fine.” But Baz declined that as well. 

Instead, Penny booked a hotel near… _likely_ food sources. There was a park across the street, and if that wasn’t fruitful, she had suggested he stalk some of the alleys around the block. “New York is ripe with rats, you’ll be fine,” she promised. 

It was unnerving with how public the endeavor felt, he was much more exposed than when he would sneak down to the Catacombs or hunt in a forest. He had to find a corner that felt semi-private and use a spell or two, but Penny was right. He was fine. He was satisfied and back in bed by Simon within the hour, nuzzling the back of Simon’s neck and koala-style wrapping himself around the other. Simon was right, Baz was just as needy as he was. 

* * *

Waking up the morning of the Pride parade, Simon had no expectations and no clue what he was getting himself into.

He couldn’t remember the last time he’d gone to a parade of any sort, he wasn’t sure he had. He had no idea what to expect, were parades even that entertaining? Wasn’t it just a bunch of people walking and driving down the street? And something about horses? He definitely once heard Penny say something about the horses.

“If we lie here any longer Bunce is definitely storming in here again.” Baz’s voice was as soft as the kiss he left on Simon’s shoulder, making no move at getting out of bed despite his words. 

“I’m not sure that’d be a good idea,” Simon turned onto his side, facing Baz. “I’ve no idea where my pants are.” 

Baz snorted, kissed Simon quickly, and rolled out of bed. “Better be fixing that, then, Snow.” 

Pride, as Simon quickly learned, was about more than just a parade, and people walking, and horses. Of course Simon knew there was more to it, he wasn’t completely thick, he just hadn’t ever thought about it. Which Baz pointed out was too often his excuse for not knowing things, and Simon elbowed him in the side, causing him to smudge an eyeliner pencil across his cheek. Baz shot him a glare, somehow intensified by the dark lines now outlining his eyes. 

“Don’t worry, Si, I don’t think anyone really knows what they’re getting into until they’re there.” Micah chimed in from the other room. Simon frowned and leaned against the counter, he had been brushing his teeth when Baz came in to use the mirror to do his eyeliner. Simon had never seen Baz so much as look at a piece of makeup, so of course he stayed and curiously watched as Baz expertly applied it. 

Baz could feel Simon’s eyes on him and it made his skin crawl in a way it hadn’t in a while. It wasn’t a good feeling, all he could think was that Simon was judging him, was beginning to rethink everything that he said the previous night. Maybe this was a line, he didn’t feel like it was that out of character for him but he’d also never worn it around Simon. Only ever in the comfort of his own home, and honestly not in a few years. He heard Simon take a breath, saw him open his mouth, and he braced himself. 

“Why’re you wearing that anyway?” 

“I’m sorry, is it a bit too queer for you, Snow?” Baz spat. He had put himself on pins and needles, threw himself onto the defensive and he saw Simon flinch. It was a reflex. Thinking the worst and attacking before he could be attacked, and it had been his and Simon’s dance for years. You couldn’t just wipe away seven years of swapping barbed remarks, but Baz dropped his eyes and regretted his words almost immediately.

“I just.. I’ve never seen you wear it before, that’s all.” Simon looked at his feet, pushing away from the counter. “I’ll leave you to it.” 

“Simon, wait,” Baz reached for his arm. Simon stopped, waited for Baz to move, or speak. It took a few long seconds, Baz seemed to be mulling something over in his mind before he finally continued. “Mordelia didn’t have a sister or very many friends when she was younger, but she did have a gay older brother that frequently succumbed to that blasted pout of hers.” 

Simon stepped back, looking back at Baz, who’s face looked like he’d sooner set himself aflame than admit to any of this. 

“She was always very interested in makeup and would get into her mother’s collection, then come ask if she could use my face to practice.” 

“Was her own face not enough?” Simon was trying not to grin at the image of Baz’s younger sister roping him into a makeover, but he was failing miserably. 

“I’ve the best bone structure in the family,” Baz sighed dramatically, as if it were a curse he was most unfortunate to have. His own smile was starting to betray him as he continued, “She was fairly decent at it once she got older, actually. And once she moved past the excessive colors and obnoxious application, I didn’t always mind it. Some of the more subtle looks, I mean. Of course, being her go-to model, I also picked up a thing or two - I figured if we were going to attend one of the biggest pride events, especially in a city where nobody knows us, might as well go all in.” 

Simon looked down, still smiling. He hesitated before saying, “It’s not ‘too queer’ for me, for the record.”

“Simon, I’m sorry -”

“I know.” Simon glanced over the rest of the makeup Baz had spread out on the counter, just a few more small compacts and boxes. He picked one up, opening it.“What’s the rest of this then?” 

“I nicked some things from Bunce - actually, mostly from Micah, I think. He was prepared.” 

“Is this… rainbow glitter?” 

“Highlighter. With some glitter, yes. Want some?” 

Simon shrugged. “Not sure I’m the glitter or makeup type.” 

Baz hummed, plucking the compact from Simon’s hands. “I think you could be.” Baz moved to stand in front of him. 

He swiped his finger through the highlighter then lifted his hand, hovering it over Simon’s left cheek in question. Simon nodded, and it felt intimate in a new way as Baz ran his finger across his cheekbone. He was focused on putting the makeup across Simon’s cheeks and finally dotting a bit onto the tip of his nose, and Simon was on the verge of literally swooning at the proximity and how much Baz was concentrating on his face. 

“How do I look?” 

“Stunning. You’re always fucking stunning, Simon.” 

Baz had finished applying the makeup but he was still fully concentrating on Simon’s face, and Simon flushed under his gaze. He’d never get used to Baz looking at him like that, like he was something precious, something to protect. Baz would argue that that’s exactly what he was, and then run his thumb across Simon’s jaw exactly like he did in that moment, and Simon would shiver so really they got the same result without even having to say anything. 

Baz went back to putting on his own makeup, just a bit of eyeliner, the same highlighter he’d just used on Simon, and a couple other creams and powders Simon didn’t know the name or use of. He left Baz after a few minutes, dropping a kiss on his shoulder as he left, to finish getting ready himself. He’d borrowed a shirt from Penny for the occasion, just a grey t-shirt with a rainbow across the front. Micah and Penny were a bit more dressed up than Simon, Micah wearing a bright rainbow suit jacket over a tank top sporting a series of bisexual puns, and Penny in a simple white dress with bright colors paint-splattered along the bottom half. 

Baz was the last one dressed and ready, and once he stepped into the room it made perfect sense as to why. When Baz said he might as well go all in Simon didn’t realize that ‘ _all in’_ meant one of those ‘queer as in fuck you’ cropped t-shirts beneath a semi-sheer rainbow kimono, and black jeans so tight they should be illegal. On top of that a full face of makeup that brought out all of Baz’s best features, his sharp angles, strong jaw, eyes that could burn right through you. 

“Get your tongue back in your mouth, Snow, you’re embarrassing yourself.” Baz was smirking and it was infuriating and Simon wanted to forget about the parade and just take Baz back to their room. 

But he didn’t. 

And he was glad that he didn’t, because Simon didn’t know what to expect when they left that morning but he was not disappointed when they walked into throngs of peoplewith a surplus of bright colors, pride flags of every kind, and the highest spirits. Even Baz couldn’t scrounge up a sour mood, the air surrounding them was buzzing with a sort of excitement that had him actually smiling all day. 

It was loud, people cheering, screaming, and singing along to the music blasting from the floats. They were surrounded on all sides by people dancing, hugging, chanting, kissing, and by all accounts it should have been claustrophobic and uncomfortable and the worst feeling in the world but it was the _best_. Simon gave in and started wiggling his hips, shimmying his shoulders, as music came and went. It was nice to see Simon look so happy, Baz thought. He was fully enjoying himself, and he kept looking at Baz with that smile and those bright eyes and Baz wanted to melt. 

Simon even got him swaying on his feet a bit, if only to keep Simon closer to him. That’s where he felt himself slipping, not in the singing or dancing or acting a fool (which Simon, Penny, and Micah all succumbed to, not that it was a bad thing, they were having fun). But Baz couldn’t keep his hands off of Simon, not even in a particularly intimate or sexual way, but he just wanted to be touching him constantly. 

It wasn’t hard to do, in a crowd this big they were pushed together most of the time. Baz would take it one step further, snaking an arm around Simon’s waist, pressing himself flush against Simon’s back, taking any little excuse to brush a hand over his arm, or across his shoulders, through his hair, caress his cheek. He just wanted to _touch_. Because for so long he hadn’t been allowed to, for so long he could only dream of it and now he was living that dream. Had been for over a year and he still just couldn’t get enough. He was insatiable, he would always want _more_ of Simon Snow. 

Simon, for his part, was just as eager and leaned fully into every brush, touch, and caress. They definitely had enough space to not be fully pressed together, but Simon leaned ever further into Baz until there wasn’t a breathe between them, Baz’s arms locked around his middle and his face buried into Simon’s neck. 

The parade was simply _fun_ , and after they’d had their fill the group decided to follow the crowd a few streets over to the festival, which consisted of tent after booth after tent lining both sides of the street down several blocks. Somewhere further down the street there was music playing, people gathered around some of the booths and they all wandered through the crowd and booths slowly, taking their time and stopping every now and then. At some point, who knows how much later, Penny spotted an ice cream truck and insisted it was necessary for everyone to get something. It honestly wasn’t a hard sell, Simon was practically drooling the moment it was suggested. They saw a park just past the end of the street and found themselves collapsed in the grass, laughing, talking, and enjoying their sweets. Simon had insisted upon a Spiderman popsicle while everyone else got a cone of some variety. 

“Those’re the absolute worst,” Baz said. “Why would you do that to yourself?” 

“These aren’t about the taste, Baz, they’re about the novelty.” The corner of Simon’s lips lifted in a smirk. “When else will I have the opportunity to suck off Peter Parker?” 

Micah snorted loudly next to them, and Penny groaned, “ _Simon_.” 

Simon’s smirk gave way to a full on laugh as Baz elbowed him, lovingly, and nearly pushed him sideways onto the ground. The motion caused the popsicle to jerk away from his mouth, straight into his cheek. He lifted a hand, finding the mess, and attempted to reach his tongue over but only succeeded in licking away the very edge of it. 

“You’re a bloody mess, Snow,” Baz laughed. 

“Oi, you caused this!” Simon complained, shooting him a half-hearted glare. “You should be the one fixing it.” 

Baz didn’t remotely think about what he did next. 

Without missing a beat he leaned into Simon, mouth open, and ran his tongue over the red streak on his cheek. It was sweet from the popsicle and salty from the sweat on Simon’s skin, and fulfilled some fantasy that Baz had apparently buried down deep because the moment he processed what he’d done a spark of arousal shot through him. It was immediately followed by a flood of embarrassment, blood running to his cheeks as he pulled back and saw Simon’s matching blush, mouth hanging open a bit, and eyes locked on Baz. 

“You two are disgusting.” Penny’s voice caused them both to blush harder but reminded them of where they were. Simon turned back to her. 

“Can you even say that to us today?” Simon narrowed his eyes, running the flat of his tongue over the side of the popsicle and flicking his eyes over to Baz, who was definitely intently watching the entire time. 

“Not because you’re being gay, you absolute numpty,” Penny rolled her eyes. “I’m well used to that, but could you keep it in your trousers while we’re in public?” 

“They’ve got, like, eight years of pent up sexual tension, Pen,” Micah pointed out. “I think we’re going to have to deal with this for at least… ten more years.” 

Penny heaved a sigh, which both Baz and Simon ignored. Simon shifted closer to Baz in the grass, until he could properly rest his head on the other’s shoulder as he finished off his treat. 

“What do y’all want to do with the rest of the day?” Micah asked some time later. 

They’d all finished their ice cream, now just fully lounging in the grass. Baz had propped himself up against the trunk of a tree, mostly in the shade, while Simon laid with his head on his boyfriend’s thigh and most of his body in the sun. Penny laid a few feet away, fully splayed out across the grass and bathing in the sunshine, while Micah sat by her head plucking nearby flowers and twisting them into her hair. 

“I’d be fine with staying here,” Penny had a small smile on her face. “Did you have something in mind?” 

“Not particularly. There are some after parties around the city tonight, or we could just go out to dinner and hang out tonight.” 

“Not to sound old and crotchety, but I’d lean to the latter.” 

Micah gave her a warm smile, leaning down to press a soft kiss to her lips. “I figured you would.” He looked over to Simon and Baz. “What about you boys?” 

“I’m with Bunce,” Baz said. 

“Full intentions on sounding crotchety, I imagine,” Simon teased. Baz tugged at one of his curls in retaliation. Simon laughed. “I’m okay with that, too. We haven’t got much longer before it’ll just be Baz and me going home for however long you’ve plotted to steal Penny from us.” 

“You say that like it’s a bad thing,” Baz murmured, and Penny turned her head to stick her tongue out at him. 

“Well, if we’re staying here any longer, I need to go get some water.” Micah pushed himself to his feet. “Anyone else want anything?” 

Simon shot up. “I’ll go with you! One of those trucks looked really good.” 

Micah and Simon made their way back toward the crowds and food trucks, leaving Baz and Penny alone for the first time since the argument the morning before. They were quiet for a long while, Baz had shut his eyes and leaned his head back against the tree. 

“Basil.”

Baz opened his eyes to find Penny sitting in front of him. 

“Bunce.” 

Penny took a deep breath, seemingly bracing herself before she finally spoke. “I wanted to apologize. For yesterday, and every instance that led up to it.” 

“It’s fine, Bunce.” Baz shut his eyes. 

“Baz.” He opened his eyes again at that, Penny rarely opted to call him ‘Baz’ to his face, much like he rarely opted for using her first name at all. She dropped her eyes to the floor, watching her hands as she tugged at a few blades of grass. “You really love him? Simon?” 

Baz furrowed his brow, unsure of where she was going. “I’m not sure I could make that bit any more obvious. Are you actually still doubting this?” 

Penny ignored the retort, pressing on. 

“I do, too, you know.” 

“Are you saying you’re going to take my boyfriend from me?” 

She looked up at him specifically just so he could see her roll her eyes. 

“No. But I care for him and I…” She shook her head, frowning. “By extension, I also care for you.” 

“Good to know my relationship comes with additional benefits,” Baz deadpanned. 

“Dammit, Baz, I’m trying to have a moment with you, stop being such a knob.” Penny shoved at his leg. “You make my best friend happy, and he loves you, and because of that so do I. He’s never seemed this happy, with a relationship at least. Even after.. everything that happened, you gave him a reason to still smile, and you stuck by him when anyone else probably would have run, and helped see him through everything.” 

Baz just watched Penny, not saying anything mostly because he didn’t trust himself not to ruin the moment with some snarky response. He probably owed her this one silence.

“So, I never intended to betray you in any way, and I would never intentionally do so. Simon’s like family to me, and I s’pose that means you are, too. I would do anything to protect him.” 

“So would I,” Baz whispered. Penny smiled. 

“I know. That’s why I would also protect you. So, I’m sorry for being so flippant with.. that, and I’ll be watching my mouth moving forward.” 

“Thank you, Penelope.” Baz gave her the faintest hint of a smile, taking a breath before continuing. “I’m definitely going to regret saying this, but the feeling is mutual.” 

Penny’s smile grew wider. “I’m sorry, can I just have a recording of Baz Pitch admitting he cares for someone other than himself or Simon.” 

“Oh, hush up, Bunce.” He kicked his foot out at her, but there was no malice in his voice or action. “I care for plenty of people, I’m not a complete monster.” 

Penny opened her mouth to continue teasing him, but Micah and Simon had returned carrying several bottles of water and two helpings of greasy, cheese-covered chips. Simon plopped down next to Baz, sitting two bottles between them and holding the paper boat of cholesterol and processed cheese out to him. 

Penny and Baz’s conversation was quickly forgotten in favor of eating and discussions on where they’d be going for dinner that evening, and what they’d be doing before and after. 

They did end up just spending most of the day in the park. After the food was long gone Penny and Micah went off to check out the fountain in the middle of the park. It was big, and the day was hot, and Penny thought sitting in it would be a nice way to cool off. 

Baz was still leaning against the tree, eyes closed, and just enjoying the energy still hanging in the air, the cool breeze blowing across his face and rustling the leaves above his head. Simon rested his head on Baz’s shoulder again, turning into him, and placing his hand over the exposed part of Baz’s stomach. His cropped shirt gave Simon perfect access, and he heard Baz hum contentedly as he ran his hand across it. 

“You should wear these more often,” Simon said softly, turning his face into Baz’s neck and pressing a gentle kiss there. 

“They’re not very practical,” Baz murmured. Simon huffed, breathing a laugh where he’d just kissed and sending a chill down Baz’s spine. 

“But that sheer jumper you love so much is?” 

“That’s just called fashion, Snow.” Baz tilted his head to the side as Simon continued pressing his lips against his throat. “Crop tops are peak queer fashion, so they make perfect sense for a pride parade, but they don’t really fit in with my typical style.” Simon’s hand shifted lower, brushing over the skin just above the hem of Baz’s jeans. “Though I do see the advantages.” 

Baz reached for Simon’s hand when he felt it trailing ever lower, lacing their fingers together and tilting his head the other way to look down at the boy. “We’re in the middle of a park, Simon.” 

Simon closed the space between them, which was not the response Baz had expected from that reminder, but he was weak and fell into the kiss. He let Simon lead him, have control, because all he wanted to do was pull Simon on top of him, melt into him, hold him so tightly that maybe they’d just fuse together and he would finally be close enough. Simon licked into his mouth, his kisses turning hot and desperate, and Baz finally broke away to take a breath. 

He cupped Simon’s face in his hands, taking in his flushed cheeks, his beautifully plain (and definitely dilated) eyes, the mole just to the left of one of those eyes, his perfect, kiss-swollen lips, and the array of beauty marks that made a line down his cheek and neck. Simon’s cheeks turned an even brighter scarlet under Baz’s careful gaze, and he squirmed a bit. 

“What is it?” Simon breathed. Baz smiled. Fully, unabashedly smiled. 

“I am living a charmed life,” he said under his breath. 

“Huh?” 

Baz shook his head, laughing softly to himself. “I love you.” 

“I love you, too.” Simon smiled.

“I know.” Baz was positively _beaming_ now, and it made Simon smile so hard his cheeks were beginning to hurt. “I don’t know what I’ve possibly done to deserve it, but I know. And I love you so much, Simon, so much more than I could find the words to say.” Baz tucked a stray curl behind Simon’s ear, his hair was beginning to get long again. Baz liked it, but Simon would probably want it cut soon. “I’m proud of you, too. For everything. You’ve been through so much, more than anyone should in a single lifetime, but you’re still an absolute ray of sun. Even on your worst days, you care so hard for everyone else and do what you can for anyone.” 

“You’re being a sap.” Simon’s voice was quiet, and tight, and Baz could see the wetness building in his eyes. 

“I’m trying to be romantic, you terror,” Baz punctuated his words with a kiss to Simon’s cheek. “S’not my fault you’ve turned me into a complete, besotted fool.” 

When Simon kissed him this time it was softer, calmer. 

“I’m glad we came here,” he whispered as he curled into Baz’s side, rested his cheek on Baz’s chest. Baz lifted a hand, ran his fingers through Simon’s hair, as he hummed his agreement. “Can we go to London Pride, too?” 

“We can do whatever you want, love.” 

Simon lifted his head and Baz raised a brow. “Except anything involving public sex. I’ve been lax on the PDA thing, but limits still exist.” 

“ _Baz_.” Simon elbowed him in the side. “I wasn’t going to suggest _that_. Though.. do let me know if you have a change of heart on that front, yeah?” Baz let out a huff, shaking his head. “I was going to ask if we could join Penny and Micah in the fountain.” 

Baz scrunched up his nose and Simon whined. “You _just_ said we can do whatever I want.” 

“You’re incorrigible.” Baz rolled his eyes. “And an absolute child. Of course we can go sit in the fountain.” 

The way Simon smiled at him was the reason why. Why he’d always do whatever Simon wanted, why he’d followed this ridiculous boy across the ocean to attend an event he never really felt the desire to, why he’d follow him to the ends of the Earth if he asked.

Why this entire trip had been worth it.

Why he felt alive, and wanted, and loved. Why he had a reason to live. 

Why he was proud to be who he was, despite certain afflictions, because if Simon Snow saw something in him worthy of loving… then there must really be something there. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank y'all so much for the love on this fic <3 
> 
> if you wanna talk more about how gay and lovely these boys are, find me on tumblr @pipsqueakparker

**Author's Note:**

> if you wanna talk about baz and simon or anything else come talk @ me on tumblr: @pipsqueakparker
> 
> i also may be posting more things re: this fic over there, and y'know just in general other things carry on related 
> 
> thank you for reading! all comments and kudos are appreciated and loved! (tell me what ur fav tea is and i'll tell you if baz approves of your ~*pallet*~)


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